striving for supermom

I know, I know. I’m the worst blogger ever. I started this whole shebang out at once or twice a week, and I’m now suddenly on the once a month track. At this point I’m confident that those who can keep up a regular publishing schedule must be:

a) doing this as their full-time job,
b) popular enough to have people who actually want to be published on their sites to fill the gaps, or
c) are Supermom.

Seeing as none of these fits my situation as a part-time teacher, full-time mama, and easily-frazzled personality who has, no-question, lost brain cells since pregnancy, I’ve decided I’ll have to settle for the best I can do.

It’s something I’ve been working on quite a bit anyways. Not taking myself so seriously. Giving myself a little slack. Living in the moment.

Of course, I’ve since learned that a person can take that too far, even someone who would historically consider herself non-negotiably type-A. It turns out you can live in the moment too much and forget all about very important deadlines and tasks people have asked of you. You may even go to the wrong airport Ross Gellar style. At that point you…yeah, okay…I….have taken things to the point where I’m just a flaky airhead.

The thing is, even taking the airheadedness into consideration, nothing truly horrible has yet to happen. Nothing to cause me to seriously change my last-minute, forgetful ways.

I even made my flight.

The temporary stress created by the oh-crap moment when I forget fill in yet another screw-up here is honestly just so much less than the constant stress of to do lists and rushing and beating myself up and trying to do it all and striving to be Supermom. And in the process of attempting to let go of perfection and do less, I’m able to do more of the things I find important. To be purposeful with my time. To spend my life discovering how to be great at the things I care most about. To truly enjoy the tiny, everyday moments. Sometimes…sometimes…I’m even able to glide past a hurdle and barely feel it. I’m able to put my life into the hands of my God in a way I haven’t before.

There must be people out there who have found the happy medium between living in the moment and being responsible and reliable.

Unfortunately this girl is not one of them.

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